


Cruel World (Open Hearts)

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27749242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Jeffrey had always been an enigma, a mystery, a cryptid.
Relationships: Axl Rose/Izzy Stradlin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Cruel World (Open Hearts)

Jeffrey had always been an enigma, a mystery, a cryptid. 

Even when they were younger, Jeffrey had been the sort of kid who was always there but never there at the same time, just out of sight, always in mind. He rarely spoke, lips always closed in a thin line, not quite frowning but never smiling. His hair was always dirty, pitch black that contrasted fiercely with the paleness of his skin. 

Back when they'd first met, Bill had almost been entranced by Jeffrey, and it was stupid, so stupid, but he had stared at Jeffrey and felt something in his chest that seemed to put the whole situation into perspective. As always, Bill had been raising hell with the other kids, and had ended up getting burned. As they say, be careful when you play with fire, because you'll end up paying the price. 

"Go away." Bill had spat, all bared teeth, hair like burnt embers and eyes like daggers as he shoved himself back onto his feet, stumbling slightly, his boots crunching over dried leaves. 

And Jeffrey had simply looked at him, emotionless, blank. "You're bleeding." He had eventually said, so calm, his voice a mere mumble in the dying daylight. 

They were outsiders, joined together by their mutual combination of lonesome rage and placid calmness. Red and black, anger and quiet. They were polar opposite, but in a way, just the same. Bill had looked at that outsider with pale skin and dark eyes, and had seen a million unsaid things. Jeffrey had only gazed at him, awaiting some sort of response. 

After that, they were 'friends', unified because there was nobody else that could understand them. But that was enough for two kids in a lonely town in Indiana, neither of whom knew what would come next, but trusting that it would be bad enough that any friend was a good thing, even if it hurt to simply hang out together because one was a flame and the other was an icicle. 

Hours would pass with them hanging out in the fields, playing guitar, trading quiet words under the blazing sun. But Jeffrey never seemed to be truly there, as if his mind was far away from his body. Bill would try to look into his eyes and find the truth, but none would come. 

Jeffrey had strange eyed - sometimes, they seemed to be grey, but others, they were brown. Bill often found himself staring without meaning, trying to figure out what shade they were supposed to be. 

"Stop staring." Jeffrey had mumbled, not looking up from his guitar. 

"Sorry." Bill hadn't been apologetic in the slightest. 

It was during one of those times that some sort of silent understanding had passed between them. Bill had harbored odd feelings for Jeffrey for years, but it was only then under the blazing Indiana sun that they came together, undressing slowly but with unsaid hurry, as if some poor soul would stumble upon them. 

Bill had traced his finger over Jeffrey's pale chest, feeling the bumpiness of his rib cage underneath. "I'm not gay." Bill had said, a weak testament, some sort of faint reassurance. 

"I know." Jeffrey had replied, and he stood there, ready, willing, as Bill leaned foward and closed the gap between them. 

\----------

"You're leaving?" Axl blurted out, shocked, unsure, wondering if he was still asleep, and not really standing there in the middle of a dark room, watching as his whole world seemed to fall apart. 

Izzy shut his suitcase. "You love her." He said. "You love Stephanie." 

The words sounded foreign, strange. "No, I don't." Axl denied, shaking his head even as his insides tingled with the thought of Stephanie, of her face and body and voice. "I don't love her. I don't even _like_ her!" 

"Okay." Izzy pulled a letter from his coat and set it down on the bed. 

Axl blinked. "You're not leaving. You can't! Jesus, Iz, are you jealous over her?" He felt incredulous, sounded like it, too. 

"Am I jealous that you spend all of your time with that dumb broad instead of me?" Izzy said. "Yes." 

The tension in the room was palpable, and it hurt, really, those words. Axl scowled, but then he realized that it was true - he did spend all of his time nowadays with Stephanie. And the realization must've showed on his face, because Izzy nodded, grabbed his suitcase, and began to walk away. "You can mail my last check to my dad's." He said. 

It felt strangely like a dismissal, said in Izzy's typical throwaway manner, like nothing even mattered. His eyes were cold, dark hair framing his face and hollow cheekbones. 

"Wait!" Axl practically dived across the room, grabbing the hem of Izzy's sleeve. 

Izzy wasn't strong enough to fight his way out, so he simply gazed at Axl with thin patience. 

"Wait...." Axl got to his feet, removing his grip on Izzy's sleeve to put them on his shoulders. He could remember when they were kids, unaware of what would happen next. So full of life, so sure of themselves. Well, Axl had been, anyways. A small part of him wondered what had changed. ' _We did.'_ The reality of the situation was heavy, like a thick, suffocating blanket. "Don't leave." 

"That's some great initiative." Izzy said sarcastically, his upper lip twisting into a snarl. "Let me go." 

"No, I'm not letting you go." Axl shook his head. "I won't let you go, because I won't ever see you again. Stephanie isn't worth it. She doesn't matter." He was saying whatever came to mind, random words mixing together, hurrying past his tongue.

Izzy frowned. "You're saying that because you don't want me to leave you all alone." He said. "You don't truly want me, you wasn't Stephanie, and that's fine, just let me go so I can leave." 

"Please don't." Axl cringed at the sound of his own voice. He sounded pathetic, but in a span of twenty minutes, his whole life was flashing right before his eyes and the thought of Izzy leaving seemed borderline catastrophic. "I'll kick her to the curb. I won't so much as mention her goddamn name, but I can't live without you. _Please."_

\-----

In the end, Izzy still left. 

"I can't stay here. It's all empty promises." He said, voice stricken with sadness. 

Axl stared at him, terrified that this was the end, all because of some stupid woman who didn't mean anything. "And this is it?" He whispered, scared. "This is the end of - us?" 

"No." Izzy looked down, tears beginning to shine in his strange eyes. "But I need some time. I need you to - to understand that. To give me time." 

"How much time?" Axl didn't allow himself to be relieved, not yet. 

Izzy shrugged. "I don't know." He pursed his lips. "I've managed to convince myself of things that might not necessarily be true and - and I need time. Please give me that." He was shaking, small little tremors, like there was a hurricane going on within his mind. 

"Okay, okay." Axl soothed. "You can have that time. As much as you need." He was being uncharacteristically gentle, wrapping his arms around Izzy's shoulder, awaiting for permission before pulling him close. 

\-----

Yeah, Izzy was fucking weird, with his strange eyes and never-smiles. 

But when he snuck into bed, and pressed his chilled lips against Axl's neck, there was nowhere else in the world that could've been as good as this, in Axl's opinion.

So, no, he wouldn't ever let Izzy go again. 

And it was a lesson that was hard-won.


End file.
